Guiding consumers since 2009

Will your spouse leave you in 5 years’ time?

By Athenkosi Sawutana

Divorce rates are the highest among couples who have been married for five to nine years. This is according to data released by Statistics South Africa (StatsSA) on Wednesday.

The statistics show that 31,7% of divorces emanate from the black African population; 25,4% from the coloured; 25,0% from the white and 22,4% from the Indian/Asian population.  

According to the publication, the white population had the highest number of divorces in the first five years.

Mimi Hewett, a relationship and family counsellor, says lack of perseverance is the cause of these divorces.

“Many couples seem to give up much quicker nowadays than many years ago,” she says.

“We live in an era where everything is fast: fast foods and faster internet. When things are broken, we tend to replace rather than fix them,” she adds.

Hewett says many people stop trying to impress their partners because they think they’ve already won them over.

“People often stop making an effort to look good; cook their partner’s favourite dinner or buy them flowers,” says the counsellor.

She says the sweet words of affirmation and adoration start to fade and people get stuck in everyday life.

Hewett also adds that people tend to focus on their careers and children in the first seven years of marriage.

The report also showed a decline in divorces as the number of years of marriage increased.

According to Hewett, this is because people who invested in their marriage in the early years (emotionally, financially and spiritually), tend to realise what they stand to lose if they divorce after so many years.

She says children can also play a big role in couples staying together, even though they might not be happy with each other anymore.

Hewett advises couples to protect their relationships by doing the following:

  • Build a solid relationship and foundation with your partner – your partner was there before the children. Your partner should always be a priority over the kids, the job, the extended family, friends, school and church.
  • Make time for date nights and communicate your needs.
  • Listen to your partner and make sure you know what your partner’s Love Language is (look at infographic below) so that you can keep their “love tank” full.
  • Having the same interests and sharing experiences also helps. If you are religious, sharing the same faith will be an advantage, as well as praying together and for each other.
  • Marriage counselling can also help couples to rediscover their passion for each other again.

  

Recent Articles

Featured Get personal with your finances – and tie the knot

As time passes, your financial products may not live up to your needs. Therefore, it’s important to take stock of what you’re paying for and adjust where necessary. We got in touch with financial advisers to find out how you can get your finances in order, and what you should do to ensure you’re financially stable.

Personal loan or business loan? The best way to finance your business

When starting your own business, you may have to rely on external funding. Perhaps you qualify for a personal loan, but would it be better to take out a business loan instead? We got in touch with a specialist to find out whether it’s best to take out a business loan or a personal loan to assist you with your ongoing business or start-up.

What to do when you’ve been denied a home loan

After months of scanning property sites and attending showhouse after showhouse, you’ve finally found what you’ve been looking for. But your dream of owning a home comes crumbling down when you receive the news that you’ve been denied a home loan. So, what now?

Best travel cards offered by top South African banks

Planning a trip abroad involves a lot of administration. You need to consider travelling arrangements, reasonable accommodation, and a daily itinerary. But have you considered how you’re going to pay your bills once you arrive? Besides considering bank costs, you also need to consider exchange rates.

Deals

Takealot January Big Sale

Price: Available on request
When: Until 31 January 2020
Where: Online

Annique Restore Package Special

Price: From R600
When: Until 31 January 2020
Where: Centurion

Ster-Kinekor Senior Citizens Discount

Price: Available on request
When: Daily
Where: Nationwide