For many couples, marriage is the beginning of a long, rewarding life together and one of the biggest relationship milestones one can reach. However, somewhere amid the romance, diamond rings and honeymoon, the big financial conversations are often forgotten about.
“While talking about money may feel like a dampener to the excitement, a clear understanding of each other’s goals and approach to finances is arguably one of the key factors in staying together,” says Jo-Anne Bailey, former sales director and country manager for Franklin Templeton Investments Africa.
Here are a few tips to get you and your partner started.
1. Discuss your financial goals
“When it comes to talking about money, the key is to discuss it sooner rather than later in order to ensure your goals are aligned,” says Bailey. “Discuss what is important to you both.
“For example, if one of you is saving to quit their job and travel the world, while the other wants to rise up the corporate ladder and buy a house in the city, it may set you up for conflict later on.”
One of the more critical decisions, Bailey notes, is whether or not to have children. Discovering different views on this will have an emotional and financial impact at a later stage.
Also of importance are the values you hold about retirement, education and what constitutes a good, successful life.
“There are no right or wrong answers,” Bailey says. “It’s simply a case of determining whether or not you are on the same page.
“While these conversations may be awkward at first and the opposite of romantic, they are well worth having before either of you even thinks about popping the question.”
2. Protect yourselves financially
“After the proposal comes two separate stages that have the power to set you up for life,” Bailey says. “In the past, everyone automatically got married in community of property, but now it is possible to personalise your contract depending on your asset base.”
Bear in mind that assets may not be all that partners contribute to a marriage. Debts and liabilities must be considered as well.
“Don’t rush this process or leave it to the last minute,” Bailey cautions. “Rather, find a family lawyer you trust and talk through all the options, so that both of you are financially protected in the event of death, debt or divorce.”
3. Wedding planning
The next important stage is the actual wedding planning.
“As soon as you plan on getting married, you will be faced with an onslaught of products and services. Family members may try to influence your decisions as well, regarding the guests you invite or how much you spend,” says Bailey.
When couples buckle under this pressure and overspend, it can saddle them with debt at a time of their lives where they should be working on building their life together.
Bailey advises that you, as a couple, consult a third party who will bring some perspective to the emotion of planning a wedding.
“A financial advisor will be able to help you build a plan that reflects the reality of your financial situation and your future goals,” Bailey notes. “While this may require some discipline, as partners you will be able to support each other with your greater vision in mind.”
4. Ensure that you will retain financial independence
This greater vision can be both personal and about you as a couple. There is no need for you to combine all of your assets. In fact, this is inadvisable.
“Ensure that you retain some financial independence by continuing to build your own savings, retirement and investment accounts,” Bailey says. “While many marriages are long, happy, and successful, you need to have your own nest egg that will ensure that you are financially independent in the event of a tragedy or divorce.”
5. Avoid debt
Bailey gives betrothed couples a final caution.
“When the wedding is over, don’t be tempted to take out a personal loan or incur credit card debt to go on an enviable honeymoon. At this stage of your life together, this would only ensure that you start your marriage in a weak position.”
A strong marriage will last your whole life, giving you all the time you need to create a strong financial foundation that will allow you to experience many wonderful memories together.